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Geographic proximity affected romance as much as anything - along with religion and class, of course.

Until recent years, only people married to commercial travellers, service personnel in wartime or those whose marriage was in trouble lived apart. Nowadays, nobody finds it unusual for a husband to be working in Dubai, while the wife stays at home in Moncton or Summerside. This shows the extent to which we have become citizens of the planet.

You can see how time and space intervenes in our lives. Now, consider how it may have influenced people in the past who were seeking a spouse.Generally speaking, men courted women who lived within courting distance.

From the earliest settlement in this region until well into the 20th century, much travel and transport took place by boat. Rivers and coastal waters were the highways of their day. In a few instances they still are, but for most of us, possession of a car pares miles to manageable distances. The courting range tended to be smaller when the only way to get there by land was to walk or to ride; and by water, to row, paddle or sail.

Most men of marriageable age worked either at a trade or on the land - few followed formal education beyond the age of 14. Employment meant six days a week, dawn to dusk. Courting became a matter of Saturday night and Sunday after church. A youth who had his eye on a young woman had to deal with logistical issues: how far and for what distance was he prepared to make weekly trips to spend time with his heart's desire? If the round trip was too lengthy, he might be prompted to pop the question early on, or consider looking elsewhere.

Social scientists and historians consider issues of ethnicity, religion and social status as factors in mate selection. Was it likely in 1810 that an Anglican captain of a Royal Navy vessel would come to British North America and marry an Acadian girl from Rustico? Might the son of a wealthy Scots Presbyterian merchant consider marrying the family's Irish Catholic parlour maid?

All things being equal, people in earlier generations were likely to marry within their class, nationality and church (there's even a word for it - endogamously.) Language often dictated that Highland Scot married Highland Scot, while francophones and anglophones also stayed within their language groups…  usually.

Over the decades people did, in fact, marry outside their ethnicity and religion (exogamously), which is why so many of us speak of having an Irish grandmother although we have a German surname. There are few specimens of "pure" ethnicity around.

If you care to make a detailed study of the matter you will discover that the 1871 Canadian census not uncommonly lists married couples where one partner is recorded as "Indian" or "African," while the other is of European ancestry.

A similar pattern emerges regarding religious denomination. Folks who believe their family was always (name a church here) may be surprised to find that great-grandfather and his wife attended different churches. I don't believe I'm the only Maritimer whose grandparents - either set - didn't practice the same religion.

These are some of the reasons that genealogists and family historians should not hesitate to cast their nets wide when researching their relatives. We often set out on our quests armed with misinformation. Helpful aunts tell us what they were told in good faith and believe to be true, but someone a generation or two back may have been hiding something they considered a skeleton, and thought best forgotten.

Regarding the question of "courtship, how long?" I'd like to nominate Pat Connor, a native of Harbour Grace, NL, who came to Halifax as a boy. He seems to have walked out with Molly Brackett for nigh on 30 years. Apparently, the propitious moment arrived only at the last moment. The couple were wed in her bedroom as she lay on her death bed. Pat had another 20 years to ponder what might have been.

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