We're known to be a friendly lot here on the East Coast, but perhaps none so friendly as Rocky Jones.
Friends are special. We use an array of words to describe the intimacy we have with them. Good friend. Best friend. Old friend. Fishing friend. Treasured friend. The word "friend" alone conjures up those aspects of life that we all crave-trust, support, loyalty, understanding, respect, affection.
The East Coast is often described as the friendliest part of Canada. It's one of the main reasons people want to visit here. But we're friendly amongst ourselves, too. It's easy to keep friends here: we make and take time to get together, have fun and catch up. Maybe it's because we have one definite thing in common-we love being here!
Friendship is one of the things that define who we are. It's one of our highest values, one of the few things that money can't buy. We include our friends in the things that give us the most pleasure. It's far more rewarding to go fishing with a friend than to fish alone-sharing the experience plugs it deeper into the memory bank. The same can be said for dining out, travelling to distant places or just sitting around a cosy fire at home. Do you wistfully dream of the times you've spent alone? Not me! My daydreaming always includes the sharing I did with a friend.
One fellow who has more friends and connections than anyone I know is Burnley "Rocky" Jones. Much has been written about Rocky Jones over the years-Rocky as a teacher, a boxer, an activist, a volunteer, a lawyer-but I haven't seen much written about him as a friend. But a friend he is-to thousands! Anywhere he goes, around home or far afield, he runs into people who consider him a friend. It's pretty hard to find a person in these parts who doesn't know Rocky on some level. My own conversations with or about him usually involve salmon fishing-he's a master with a fly rod. Occasionally he or his name surfaces in my non-fishing circle as well. He pops up in the strangest places, when you least expect to see him or hear about him!
One of the best ways to develop friendships when meeting new people is to find common ground-an interest, an activity, people you both know. For fun, next time you meet someone new try asking, "Do you know Rocky Jones?" Then sit back and listen. "There's a tome of tales to be told about Rocky," says longtime friend Jamie Armour. "He's fun to be with-there's never a dull moment-and he provides hours of pleasure to the people who know him. Rocky finds common ground with just about everybody."
There are few who compare with those who have gone through life's ups and downs with you. Rocky has pals that date back to childhood days. It's clear that they're part of the large bag of friends he carries around with him. Artist Bruce Wood, one of Rocky's pals since they were kidlettes together in Truro, NS, says it's easy to be Rocky's friend; you don't have to work at it. It's a special union when you know that your friendship is intact, no matter what.
Many people keep a protective covering around inner feelings and insecurities. I think I do. Do you? Perhaps we're afraid that if we let people see us for who we really are, it might be used against us in some way. Not Rocky-he's usually upbeat and positive, but he doesn't mind letting you know when he's having a down time, when he's feeling vulnerable. Some of us like to crawl into a hole when we feel like that. Not Rocky. He doesn't whine about it, he just lets you know, and seems to take comfort in being in the company of other loving humans. And we respond positively-we want to somehow help him, just by listening if by no other way. That's what friends do. And he reciprocates-he's a good listener and he doesn't make judgments about his friends. He accepts people and nurtures them as his equals, no matter what their social status, and expects the same in return. Colour, status and gender are not relevant to his acceptance of people. He says his Mom always told him that he is superior to no one-it's a tenet he lives by.
Rocky has eclectic interests, so he runs into people of diverse backgrounds. And he's friends with them all. I've seen him with a group of people knowing all but a few. It's those few he makes a point to approach-he gets to know what appeals to them, what interests they might have in common and other little tidbits of information. Before you know it they're on each other's list of friends! He's not only curious about others, he cares!
The wall of Rocky's office is peppered with plaques and pictures of awards and accolades from a world of activities. They paint a visual picture of his domain-his volunteer work, his creative initiatives, his abilities. It's clearly a wall of respect. A year or so ago an event was held in downtown Halifax to celebrate Rocky's being awarded an Honorary Doctor of Laws by the University of Guelph. I was invited to attend. Driving to the event that evening I remember thinking that there might be 50 to 100 people there, and I wondered how many of them I might know. I was surprised! There were more than 400 people from all walks of life, each of whom considered him or herself a friend of Rocky's. It was delightful to sit close to the front door and watch each newcomer greet him with respect and affection. There were princes and paupers, judges and street people, fisher folk, children, elders, and more. I think it was Benjamin Franklin who said "Fish and visitors smell in three days." That saying can never be applied to Rocky-I don't think he alights anywhere for three consecutive days! He has enormous energy and is a lover of life, keeping up-to-date on things and people by staying on the move. He doesn't want to be tethered to one spot; he wants to roam freely all over his country of friends.
I'm glad I'm on Rocky's list of friends-his bright smile when we meet, his strong and long hug, his reminiscences, his interest in me and what I've been doing… all these characteristics put him on my list of favourite people. I'm glad he is one of the people we were able to keep here in the East-he has added much richness to our lives.